OK, this is the best part. For some reason, I didn’t get discouraged that Allen wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was about Who Saul saw so many years ago. Once we got home, he ate a meal, and then we went to bed.
I do not remember how long I was in bed before I suddenly felt a Presence in the room – very holy and very pure. It was, in fact, a glimpse of the holiness and purity of God. It overwhelmed me, and I started to cry because I knew I was covered in sin and shame. Allen asked what was wrong, but I couldn’t articulate what I was experiencing. In what seemed like a moment, I saw in my mind’s eye the Cross of Christ. A cleansing wave of water gushed from it, and it washed over me. The next thing I knew, I was crying tears of joy and happiness, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had been cleansed of my sins, and it was Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross that had accomplished that feat. I cannot tell you what Allen said at this time, because all I could do was focus on the divine Presence that seemed to be at the foot of our bed. Then the Presence spoke to me in my mind.
“Come with Me,” He said.
I protested immediately. “I can’t,” I silently told Him. “I can’t keep any of the laws.” (By this time, I knew that the Old Testament had 613 laws, many of them still taught in Catholicism.)
The Presence smiled – or laughed, I don’t know.
“I’m not asking you to obey laws. I’m asking you to put your hand in my hand. First, I will take a step, and then you follow in that step. It’s very easy, really,” He continued.
I thought it over briefly. The choice was mine – I knew I was completely free to accept Jesus or to reject Him. But by this time, I also felt the irresistible love of my Redeemer so completely, so utterly, that I knew I would be a fool to refuse. Reluctantly, I said, “Yeah, OK” – a rather informal answer to the King of kings and Lord of lords.
But that answer was all God was looking for. I suddenly felt the joy, the happiness, the contentment of Jesus. He seemed to be smiling at me. And then He was gone – as suddenly as He had first come into the room.
I was awed by what had just happened. In fact, I was incredulous. What had just happened? Was it real? Would this feeling of euphoria last? “I’m dreaming,” I said to myself. Then I turned over in bed, and fell right asleep. I don’t recall speaking to Allen about it that night, but he certainly heard me speak about it in the years after that!
As soon as my eyes opened the next day, I knew a profound change had happened inside me. That evening, we would be attending a Bible study in Allen’s Chief Petty Officer’s home (I can give you the details about that at another time), and I wanted to be sure and read the assignment in preparation. We were studying the Gospel of Mark, and the words “Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee” in Mark 1:16 jumped out of the page at me. I knew that Jesus! I had met Him! I don’t remember if I shared what was happening to me with Allen that day, but I do remember being completely engulfed in a new passion for reading and absorbing the Gospel. And soon after that day, two friends stopped me in the street and said, “What’s happened to you? You’ve changed!” And so I had.
I’m going to end my story here. I could go on and on about learning more about Jesus, leaving the Catholic Church, buying theology books and testimonies and prayer books and so on, but you’ve stayed awake this long, and I don’t want you to fall off your chair from fatigue! So I’ll just make these few last points, and be done.
Here they are:
1) My encounter with Christ was my own, individual encounter. I am not asserting that it is any sort of standard, or any pattern. It had nothing to do with my gender, ethnicity, or disposition. God did not visit me because I was a girl, or an American, or a confused Catholic, or a depressed wife. He came to me because I was – and am – God’s own creation, and because He loved me. He knew I would be forever lost without Him.
2) God’s purity was beyond words. It penetrated every dark corner of my soul. I knew then, and know now, that no sinner can stand in the presence of this awesome purity without the direct intervention of Jesus Christ.
3) Christ’s Cross was solely responsible for my transformation – nothing more, nothing less. I saw and felt the wave of divine mercy from the Cross wash over me. It changed everything about me. My sin and shame were gone; I felt a magnificent love being showered upon me.
4) All I did was say “yes” to Jesus Christ’s compelling invitation. He did everything else. No church or denomination – no formula or rote prayer – “saved” me. My response to Jesus Christ was very important – and it was all God required of me.
5) I have known for these past 50 years – and it will be 50 years sometime in August of this year – that this encounter was absolutely and totally real. As I have stated several times, it changed my life. Soon after, BTW, Allen’s heart was drawn to Jesus in a fresh way. His transformation was not like mine, but we nevertheless became a solidly Christian couple. You already realize that I’ve been through trials, and I’ve had moments of great joy. I have changed in my ways and my knowledge. However, the truth about my encounter with Jesus Christ has never faded or changed.
6) My testimony, as I said at the beginning, is a true record of how Jesus Christ came into my life, and – when I responded to Him – how He began the change that has grown in me for 50 years. (If you want more, be prepared for several hours more of me sharing – just kidding!)
7) I have shared all this with you because a long, long time ago, I realized, as the Scriptures I read earlier state, that Christ had appointed me as an ambassador of His saving power. If you can testify that there has been a point in your life where you, too, realized all that Jesus has done for you – then embrace it and celebrate it and speak it out loud to everyone. If you are not there yet, I hope you will seek out Jesus and pursue Him until He breaks into your heart and mind, too. I know He will, if you ask Him.
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