Three Liberals’ Take on Interpreting the Bible (Part 3)

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends!” Henry V said to his troops at Harfleur, according to William Shakespeare. It literally means “Let’s have another go!” Now, I promise that this will be the last installment of my critique of the Three Bible Scholars (TBS’s) – unless you want more! (After all, there’s a LOT more of the Bible that they missed on their first round of Public Bible Studies.) In a way, this installment is the hardest one to do, because Jesus actually uses capitalism as a positive example, instead of denouncing it for the evil, vicious, ungodly activity that every Democratic Senator (like Booker and Warren) and popular preacher (like Rev. Barber) know it is.

Here is the passage from Matthew’s Gospel chapter 25 that we will be discussing:

The Parable of the Talents

¹⁴ “For [God’s Kingdom] will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. ¹⁵ To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. ¹⁶ He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. ¹⁷ So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. ¹⁸ But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. ¹⁹ Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ ²¹ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ²² And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ ²³ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ²⁴ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, ²⁵ so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ ²⁶ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? ²⁷ Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. ²⁸ So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. ²⁹ For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. ³⁰ And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’”

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Now, before anyone faints from the sheer audacity of Jesus Christ to “favor” rich, capitalist owner / occupiers[1] (or shall we call this figure a “corporation”?), let me hasten to explain the following:

1)    According to our TBS’s, Jesus only meant for us to read or hear the passage that follows this one (Matthew 25: 31 – 46) – that is, the passage concerning the Last Judgement, which this blog examined in Part 1 of this series.

2)    We should avoid interpreting the word “talent” in this passage as being involved in any free market endeavors. That would be strictly against the Moral Code of the TBS’s. (“Money can only be used as handouts.”)

3)    The Uh-O who distributed the talents was obviously one of those “capitalist oppressors”; it may have something to do with the “gathering where you scattered no seed” bit. In any case, any other interpretation would make it appear that God actually approves of the ownership of property, a free enterprise system, bartering, the gaining of interest (the Stock Market?), etc. (And then we’d have another problem with the Eighth Commandment: “Thou shalt not steal.”) Notice, too, how abusive the Uh-O is towards the frightened, overly-protective possessor of the single talent. At one point in the narrative, the Uh-O berates the poor, unlucky non-trader; later, he even evicts him into the “outer darkness” (verse 30). Gee… in light of the TBS’s claim to possess the “moral side of history,”[2] shouldn’t Jesus edit His parable a bit?

4)    But, wait! There’s more! At the very end of the parable, the Uh-O informs his servants thus: “For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away” (verse 29). How utterly shocking and undemocratic! How non-liberal these words are!

Now pause for a second to consider # 4 before we go on. Don’t the words that Jesus puts in the Uh-O’s mouth sound like the exact opposite of what Booker, Warren, and Barber are advocating? They oppose the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh as the next Supreme Court Judge precisely because he – like the Uh-O in Jesus’ parable – refuses to decide cases ahead of time based on the “hungry / thirsty / stranger (alien) / sick / imprisoned” labels discussed in Parts 1 & 2 of this series.

My, my!! What have we learned from a non-PC reading of the 25^th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel? 1) God does not demand that we share with those too lazy to prepare for themselves. 2) Jesus won’t let us into His Party if we’re not His followers, and only He – not the Democratic Party or any other political organization – can open the door once it’s shut. 3) We are each given resources from God (as He determines, not the Democratic Party), and He holds us accountable for using them to the best of our abilities. 4) The punishment for failure to “look to these matters” is severe (and not determined by Democrats).

It appears that the TBS’s have a problem of Biblical proportions… If I were Booker, Warren, and Barber, I’d have a genuine heart-to-heart with our Lord and Savior – and initiate a sincere and open-minded study of God’s Word – before they begin any heart-to-heart “discussions” with Brett Kavanaugh. It might just save them from a trip into “outer darkness.”

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[1] Or, if you prefer, the “Uh-O’s”

[2] O’Neil, Tyler. “Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker Host Bible Event against Trump Supreme Court Pick” PJ Media, July 25, 2018. https://pjmedia.com/faith/bernie-sanders-elizabeth-warren-cory-booker-host-bible-event-against-trump-supreme-court-pick/

Three Liberals’ Take on Interpreting the Bible (Part 2)

In my previous blog post, I wrote concerning Senators Booker and Warren and the Rev. Barber’s heartfelt admonishment to all Republicans to stop misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures according to political ideologies. Whether or not I succeeded is for my readers to judge. However, in the spirit of humble exegesis, I offer another aspect of the 25^th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel that the Three Bible Scholars (TBS’s) may have overlooked – one (or two) which may certainly inform their current assertions regarding the “evil” Brett Kavanaugh.

According to the commonly-agreed division of the Holy Scriptures, the aforementioned section of Matthew’s Gospel has two more portions: the Parable of the Ten Virgins and the Parable of the Talents. It is my intention to list a few observations on the former in this blog, Part 2.

For those individuals who do not have ready access to a Bible, I have reproduced the parable below:

Matthew 25: ¹ “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. ² Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. ³ For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, ⁴ but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. ⁵ As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. ⁶ But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ ⁷ Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. ⁸ And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ ⁹ But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ ¹⁰ And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. ¹¹ Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ ¹² But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ ¹³ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”

Observation 1: In my previous blog, I relayed how the TBS’s decried Brett Kavanaugh’s “immoral” lack of prejudicial bias, refusing to set his mind (and his judgement) on the “hungry / thirsty / stranger (alien) / sick / imprisoned” individuals mentioned in Christ’s parable. There is common agreement among Christians that “something must be done” to help those less fortunate than we are. However, in the 21^st century, “wise” Bible interpreters such as the TBS’s insist that court decisions must completely ignore any laws that the TBS’s deem “inconvenient” – or just plain “wrong”! 

In the case of Judge Kavanaugh, for instance, the TBS’s decree that he must weigh in favor of the “hungry / thirsty / stranger (alien) / sick / imprisoned” complainants, regardless of the merits of their cases. In others words, if someone claims to be hungry (for food, oil, extra comforts, a better job, respect, political power, etc.), Kavanaugh must immediately jump into action and judge in their favor. Never mind that America’s laws may dictate otherwise.

Observation 2: 21^st-century TBS’s frequently decry the use of “offensive” actions such as thought crimes, logic, “micro-aggressions” and other indelicate means of pointing out the faults of liberals and / or the Democratic Party. And here is where we notice that Jesus’ words as recorded in this parable are obviously not agreeable to a modern TBS. In the first verse, the Lord and Savior refers to “virgins.” In the last 45 years of my life, I innocently believed that He was speaking of “unmarried females,” but in this age of “gender fluidity,” should we not reinterpret this label to mean “pure-hearted sexual beings”? Could Kavanaugh, in all his decisions from the bench, even come close to accepting this description? Could Booker, or Warren, or Barber? It makes one pause for thought.

Observation 3: Our next problem is Christ’s labels of “foolish” and “wise.” Now, I would wager that, according to our illustrious TBS’s, these two groups in the story most obviously reflect the current political division within the U.S. Senate (I leave it to you, the reader, to choose which is which). I would simply point out that the “foolish” virgins did not bring oil for their lamps, and that the “wise” virgins did. Now, if one were to equate the “foolish” virgins with the Republicans, one is faced with a conundrum: does this sound like the “evil, greedy” Republicans, as TBS’s are quick to label them? Aren’t the TBS’s always pointing out how “selfish” the Republicans (including Kavanaugh, who is guilty by association) are? Would Republicans actually really leave home without spare fuel? Hmmmm…

Observation 4: At this point, we are faced with the biggest problem of the whole parable: Why won’t the “wise” virgins share their oil with the “foolish” virgins? Don’t they understand that All Righteous Christians (especially millionaires in the Senate) are supposed to share with their less-fortunate neighbors? How unfair is it to instruct the “foolish” virgins to go to all the trouble of purchasing their own oil, thereby forcing them to miss the one opportunity to have some fun at the midnight wedding party? (And don’t forget how hungry and thirsty these “pure-hearted sexual beings” might have been, seeing as though they waited a long time for the bridegroom to appear!)

Observation 5: As always, Christ leaves the most important parts of His parable to the last. Actually, there are two most important parts. As the foolish virgins pound on the door to the wedding feast, imploring for admittance, the Bridegroom rebuffs them with the words, “I do not know you.” Not know them? How could that be? Didn’t the Bridegroom and the foolish virgins inhabit the same town, breathe the same air? Didn’t they say “hi” to His Bride each and every day of their lives? Weren’t the wise virgins honor-bound to vouch for them, to plead with the doorkeeper to open the pathway to the fun and frolic of the wedding party?

Wow! What a conundrum! I wonder how the TBS’s will get Jesus out of the mess He’s created!

All tongue-in-cheek aside, let’s not overlook Christ’s last stunning statement: “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” [Here, I imagine a collective gasp of astonishment.] What is this? No “social justice” talk about sharing? No reminder about ministering to the “hungry / thirsty / stranger (alien) / sick / imprisoned” individuals Kavanaugh is supposed to favor in his judicial role? Jesus says that we should “wait,” but for what? It just doesn’t make sense…

But perhaps it does. Perhaps Jesus, the Savior of the World, knows that individuals cannot be, in their own rights, the same type of “savior” that He is. Perhaps He tells us to minister to those closest to us (our true neighbors, not some strangers across the continent) because that is where we truly build community. Perhaps He calls for true sacrificial giving on our parts – not just some feel-good, token legislation from know-it-all Senators and stirring political gatherings by activists that “tick all the boxes.” Perhaps Jesus Christ wants all the attention, because only through HIM can we learn what God’s will is for our lives. And perhaps – just perhaps – Brett Kavanaugh has actually figured all this out on his own!

It causes one to think, doesn’t it?

Three Liberals’ Take on Interpreting the Bible (Part I)

Recently, two Democratic Party Senators, Cory Booker of New Jersey and Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, used Scripture to warn All and Sundry (ANS) about the “evil” Brett Kavenaugh – President Trump’s recent Supreme Court nominee to replace retiring Judge Anthony Kennedy. Of course, these illustrious politicians (IP’s) wanted to inform Us Peons (UP’s) of the Lord’s intention to align God’s Kingdom with one side of the Congressional aisle.

The two IP’s joined (or were joined by) the Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, II, a preacher and NAACP leader in North Carolina, who lost no time in helping his fellow Bible scholars explain Jesus further. No doubt, he wanted to add weight to an already meaty argument: Democrats – no stranger to the ever-changing meaning of words – are experts in telling the Republicans how uncharitable and wrongheaded they are about Just About Everything (JAE).

 
The passage of Scripture that these Three Bible Scholars (TBS’s) chose was quite a dramatic one – an explanation of one aspect of the Last Judgement that each and every Christian should ponder and give serious – yeah, monumentally serious – consideration to. It involves Matthew’s Gospel, chapter 25, verses 34 – 40. For UP’s who need refreshing with regard to Jesus’ words, I reproduce this passage below:

^34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ ³⁷ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? ³⁸ And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? ³⁹ And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ ⁴⁰ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”

Here is how the TBS’s explained this passage:

Point Number One: The “I” in this passage does not really mean Jesus; it means the Democratic Party. How do I know this? Because this is the first interpretation of this passage – and I have heard numerous sermons about it over the last 40 years – that says that I, a Republican, have no chance of entering the Kingdom of God unless I become a Democrat, acting as they do, and thinking as they do. Golly!

Point Number Two: The definition of a “righteous” person includes only those individuals who agree with the TBS’s. For goodness’ sake, don’t you want to be “on the moral side of history”?[1]

Point Number Three: Only IP’s (who have a magical connection to Bible verses and their meanings) can identify which persons deserve the “hungry / thirsty / stranger (alien) / sick / imprisoned” labels. (Dinesh D’Souza or Martha Stewart need not apply to be included under the last label.)

Point Number Four: Brett Kavanaugh, in order to be included under the heading of “righteous,” must prejudge each case that comes before him in favor of the people described in Point Number Three. He has not done this; therefore, he is an evil man, and the TBS’s have the Bible verses to prove this! (Although which came first – the label “evil” or the Bible verse to “prove” it – is not clear.)

Point Number Five: In light of this marvelous revelation from the TBS’s, all who oppose Judge Kavanaugh’s appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court (obviously Democrats) “are on the moral side of history.”[2]

Now, I have no wish to disturb those fine, godly TBS’s (especially the man who preaches God’s words for a living). However, I would like to exercise a bit of Biblical exegesis myself:

Liz’s Response Number One: Do Warren, Booker, and / or Barber defend the murder of innocent unborn children in the womb? If they do, how do they claim “the moral side of history” when God’s Word is clearly set against child sacrifice (see Leviticus 18:21, 20:3 and Deuteronomy 12:30-31, 18:10)? The modern-day slaughter of children in the womb for the “health” of the mother is every bit as reprehensible as the slaughter of infants by burning them in a fire to the god Molech to buy material favor (money, sheep, crops) from him.

Liz’s Response Number Two: Earlier in Matthew’s Gospel, (chapter 5, verse 20 to be exact), Jesus said "For I say unto you that unless your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.” I wonder why Jesus thought He could dictate who gets to go to Heaven! Aren’t the Democrats better at deciding membership in the Kingdom?

Liz’s Response Number Three: In what century did the meaning of sacrificial giving change from using one’s own wealth, fortune, or resources to using that which is demanded from others through taxes and fees? (And while we’re at it, corporations who “donate” copious amounts of money to charity are a joke. It’s really the money from their customers which they “give,” not their own. If you want to argue that it’s their profits that they give away, go ahead, but they cannot deny that these companies charge higher prices just so that they can appear “benevolent.”) What are Warren’s, Booker’s, and Barber’s – and let’s not forget Bernie Sanders’ (who was also with the TBS’s) – net worths? Have they volunteered any of their wealth, fortunes, or resources on behalf of their “moral side”?

Liz’s Response Number Four: The Old Testament is replete with example after example of true justice: to live in awe of God, to honor His laws, and to judge fairly when evil or injustice (as defined by the Almighty) has been committed. At no time in the Bible does God state, “Put aside all that and prejudge a case according to your own definitions and agendas.” However, Warren, Booker, and Barber are convinced that the Bible does say that exact thing. Unfortunately, the examples they provide (from St. Matthew’s Gospel, the Book of Isaiah the Prophet, Psalm 23, and the Book of Numbers) utterly fail to prove their points with regard to true justice. (Psalm 23? Really?)

My final word: When trying to steer through to coherency during this and future political rodeos, avoid all IP’s who use ANS Biblical passages to shame UP’s into doing JAE.

Gobbledygook? Exactly.

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[1] O’Neil, Tyler. “Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker Host Bible Event against Trump Supreme Court Pick” PJ Media, July 25, 2018. https://pjmedia.com/faith/bernie-sanders-elizabeth-warren-cory-booker-host-bible-event-against-trump-supreme-court-pick/

[2] Ibid.